november 6 2020

i finally got into making original music! i couldn't be happier!

utau led me down a rabbit hole where i picked up lmms, learned some basic stuff

about chords and octaves, and actually made something! a few short songs, in fact!

i've still got a ways to go until i can make more complex tracks, but it's

something i love doing so far and a great way to express the feelings i can't really draw.

as for my utau, i'm definitely not abandoning them or anything. i still love tsuiteru and

doing utau is still on my radar. i just have even more cool stuff to give to the world!

i may also make a music page on the site soon...

and wouldn't ya guess, i wrote a song called alix henriol. i think about her a lot...

her story is really sad and it hurts that people will only ever remember her as a raving lunatic.

i think about how i feel much of the same way for zero, and how my anxiety and isolation in these feelings

may very well be the only thing keeping me from becoming another version of her.

but, fuckin, whatever right?

november 6 2020

broke my clean streak again.


november 26 2020

doing better again now. 20 days clean. i think i might be trans...

that's actually part of the reason i haven't been updating this site.

looking at all the art i made of myself just makes me kind of sad now.

it's...whatever. i don't really care enough to pursue any sort of conclusion.

plus, people would probably just think i'm a snowflake and not actually find any value in my art anymore.

anyway, since i have some basic html knowledge now, i might try to make some simple dress-up games.

i loved them as a kid, and i always wanted to make one when i got'd be fun!

if i do end up making any, i'd probably put them on a separate website from this one.

even if mine aren't meant for kids, kids will inevitably find them, and i don't wanna end up

teaching nine-year-olds about clinical anxiety and waifuism.