january 7 2021

christmas was nice. i got an art scanner and i've really been loving it so far.

the past few weeks have been a blur honestly. by now i'm mostly just scared for the safety of my friends who aren't white.

not to mention anyone else who isn't white. and even though i'm relatively not at risk because i am white, it's not like things are gonna get

super great for trans people anytime soon either. but that's beside the point. things are fucked! they've always been fucked! we try to make things better but

someone always comes along and makes them fucked again! me and everyone i care about will grow up in a hell world beyond fiction!

aaaaaaaaaaahhh!! here's to twenty-twenty-fucking-one.

january 30 2021

hoo boy. i thought i was inactive on here, but two journal entries in a month might be a new record. did i ever even mention my tamagotchis? because i have two of them now.

honestly, they've been a great comfort to me? they've reminded me to take care of myself. i might make a page dedicated to them or share some photos soon. i love those little shitz.

apparently people have decided that being fictosexual is homophobic now? so that sucks. just when i thought i could get through to someone...damn.

i saw a post about someone whose parents threatened to put them in a psych ward for loving a character. the comments were full of people saying they should've gone through with it.

saying the parents were right, and that they feel bad for them for having such a broken fucking child. now i'm lucky enough to have parents who have mostly come around, but still.

that really, really fucking scares me. things aren't going to get easier for ficts. i thought that if more people knew we existed, things would be easier.

but i've seen it happen now, i watched people learn about us and decide we weren't even fucking worth it.

i'm starting to worry that maybe i should change. maybe i should make myself love a real person. that the only reason i can't is because i'm afraid to.